X marks the spot

This Saturday at 12:36am my phone lit up with my ex boyfriends name and an awkward attempt at “normal” conversation.

I of course didn’t respond that night, but Sunday morning I woke up with a heavy heart,.. & talking to him only made it worse.

I worked so hard to let my heart heal and accept that we are over. You’d think that this conversation would have given me a sense of closure

But wtf does that even mean? I don’t think I can ever have closure , because what happened between us will never really be resolved.

It’s almost going to be a year since we last saw each other

You can’t just come back and fuck up my life, I’d rather you just go.

mile markers

michaellottner:

narrow highways, flashing by
illuminated mile-markers

if i made them all go away
every indication that we
are so far apart

would that make the distance disappear?
or instead make it
infinitely larger?
.

"Let me tell you something about long distance relationships, they fucking suck"

Q

Anonymous asked:

Help. After years of not cutting, I started to cut again last week and did it again tonight. I have been not paying attention to my health and I feel my body deteriorating. I just feel like I can't go forward anymore. I don't know what to do I just wanna disappear. I feel so useless and defeated. Do you have any advice on how I could get out of this rut? (Sorry if this is too dramatic or something. I just get worked up explaining what's going on)

A

alwaysworthrecovery:

You said you haven’t been paying attention to your health, and you notice that taking a toll on your body. So change that. Whatever needs you’ve been neglecting, start fulfilling them. If your body needs more water more often, start trying to drink more water throughout the day. If you need more sleep, look in to natural sleep enhancers (like Valerian root) or ways to help you fall asleep (like lavender scented spray/oil). Eat more if you haven’t been eating as much. 

Also please take care of your wounds. Do not neglect those, infections are not fun. 

You went years without cutting. So you know there are alternatives that work for you. And you know you’re able to not hurt yourself and still be okay with whatever  life is throwing at you. You just forgot. 

Revisit coping mechanisms you used to use. If those don’t work, it’s time to explore new ones! Let someone know (if you can) what’s going on, so they can help distract you and/or remind you you don’t need to hurt yourself. If you feel like you can do it, throw out the tools you’ve been using, or ask someone to keep them hidden. 

Something to always ask yourself is: Would I do this to my best friend’s body if they were feeling this way? To my partner’s body if they were feeling this way? To my child’s body if they were feeling this way? To my pet’s body if they were feeling this way?

If the answer is no (and I really hope it is), do everything in your power to try and not do it to your own body. If your loved ones were feeling low and hopeless and unwanted, would you handle that by hurting them? 

You deserve the love and are you give to your loved ones. Remember that. 

I love this so so much

“The person you think of when you stand in front of the ocean. That’s the person you’re in love with.”
— Colleen Michele (via fearlessknightsandfairytales)

:)

(via aguilera17)

mannykiddo:

I had this dream where you tried to come back into my life and I was like nah.

anggdrina:

LAST DAY TO GET 25% OFF YOUR NEXT PURCHASE FROM @theflauntshop using “CODEAS” before checkout 👑💕